Saturday, June 6, 2015

Harsh Words

It amazes me how words can affect different emotions with different people. How a simple statement can seem so hurtful. This statement wasn't even geared towards me, or in that matter I wasn't even in the conversation at all but overhearing it still stings.
   I was just sitting at a lunch table at work and over heard a girl (yes I will refer to her as a girl, even though she is older than me, because I believe she has a lot of growing up to do still.) talking about her and her fiance and how happy they were and then the dreaded words flew out of her mouth "I pray to God I don't get pregnant." I almost choked on my leftover sandwich and then she proceeded to state that she didn't want to get that fat ever! I had to walk away before I lost my temper and possible my job.
   I will pray for her tonight and also for me to be able to forgiver her for she knows nothing about me and my situation. I will pray that she will be able to conceive naturally and how she by the grace of God never have to endure this torturing infertility struggle. I will pray that her and her fiances new marriage wont struggle over the loss of the ability to bring a child of their own into this world. I will pray that she may never over hear and innocent conversation at a lunch table that instantly throws her in a fit of rage and then to run off crying in a bathroom stall. I will pray because that's all I have and can do at this time.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Let it sink in~

Well its been about a month since we heard the Dr say the only way we can have a child is by ivf or adoption. Its been a crazy month, march always is, and then on top of that trying to decide what to do. I know that I'm up for both options but it seems like dh doesn't want to try either of them. I don't know if its the money issue, his way of dealing with the news, or him holding on to a glimmer of hope. I just cant keep giving myself false hope that it will happen naturally. Its been 3 years of trying and the evil witch rides in on her wicked broom stick every month. Its draining and depressing, I'm sick of waiting. Many people have told me to let it sink in before we make any decisions, for me it has sunk in, for him it hasn't. All I can do is pray that the lord will 
guide us to our decisions and help us through our 
journey that we choose.